It recently occurred to me that Li’l Wayne attended college. I had known this but never really thought about it before. It raised what seemed to me as an obvious question: What was Weezy like during his college career? He’s said to have been a political science major, which makes sense due to his outspoken natures on such issues as poverty in America in addition to his public criticism of Al Sharpton. Could Young Money have been just “Dwayne Carter” at some point? Sitting eagerly in a lecture hall, he engages in heated debate over the values of a Parliamentary Democracy. Could Young Dwayne have had a steady girlfriend, perhaps a chemistry student named Susan Choi? Could Mr. Carter stay up night after night studying the history of the struggle between the American Judicial and Executive Branches?
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Or could he just be Weezy? Instead of learning about the Heads of States he got head in the back of class. Instead of a meaningful relationship with an intelligent woman, his only concern was that his professor’s red lipstick didn’t smear as she gave him an A. Could he have bought all the weed on campus and then disguised it as the parsley the dining hall put on the pizzas? This lead me to the next logical question: What were his SAT scores?
As a result of months of research, phone calls, and restraining orders I met a man who wrote a series of letters from his freshman year of college. His name is John Smith he was Dwayne Carter’s roommate. His family had just moved to the Houston area and this made him eligible for more financial assistance. The letters are all written to his parents, even though they lived twenty minutes away, due to their inability to afford anything. This incredibly fortunate position made John eligible for more or less free tuition and housing thanks to state grants and loans. In his letters he describes his t months of living in a dorm with Young Carter. Smith had been planning on releasing the letters on the internet as a mixed tape entitled, “ Li’l Wayne’s World.” When I convinced him that such a plan would result in numerous copyright infringement allegations, he agreed to let me post them on my blog. I got the sense he was really just anxious to sell the letters to some loser moronic enough to pay money for them. I showed him though. $500 for some guy’s letters home is easily 20% under the going rate.
Over the next few weeks I plan to release these letters on the blog. I entitle it “Wednesdays with Weezy” as Wednesday will be the day I post each new letter. I hope you find them as amusing as I do.